Ask Mr. Bennett

Photo

Sat, 01 Oct 2011 21:09:47 -0700

There, see? My constant companion.

Sat, 01 Oct 2011 21:09:10 -0700

There, see? My constant companion.

And still, I have not found it. Alas, I fear that my sense of...

Sat, 01 Oct 2011 21:08:39 -0700

And still, I have not found it. Alas, I fear that my sense of longing is to be a lifelong friend, much like Mrs. Bennett’s nerves.

My dear Fanny, you are as lovely now as you were when first we...

Sat, 01 Oct 2011 21:07:06 -0700

My dear Fanny, you are as lovely now as you were when first we met.

askelizabethbennet replied to your post: Why Mr. Bennett did you not take more action in your...

Tue, 20 Sep 2011 23:22:07 -0700

askelizabethbennet replied to your post: Why Mr. Bennett did you not take more action in your children’s lives? Your silly wife had to much control!

I will say “well said”, father.

Thank you, my dear.

Why Mr. Bennett did you not take more action in your children's lives? Your silly wife had to much control!

Sun, 18 Sep 2011 09:46:00 -0700

And good day to you, too, sir! Upon my honour, I rarely come across such candid phrasing as I do on the internet. Perhaps my daughter’s Aunt Catherine is asking questions anonymously? Then again, perhaps not; I am quite sure that Lady Catherine received an education and surely knows the difference between “to” and “too”.

At any rate, I do not care to discuss the intimate details of a lifetime of mistakes (and successes, I assure you- look to my Lizzie for that) between a man and his wife. There are many actions in my life that I do not recall with particular satisfaction, and while I may not enjoy a family with perfect, amiable manners, correct deportment, and quiet propriety, I can assure you that no man could be prouder of his daughters than I.

In short, my friend- I wouldn’t change any of it for the world. Neither the Wickhams nor the occasional shrill raptures of a beloved (albeit silly) wife can disturb my present sanguinity.

But really. You ought to learn the difference between “to” and “too”. That is a failing, perhaps, on the part of one of your own parent’s lackadaisical attention to your education? I assure you, none of my daughters would ever make that mistake.

Ah, I have my Lizzie in my head, chiding me for ungentlemanly conduct toward you. Alas, she is not here to take this keyboard away. Take care, my anonymous friend! Appeal to Google for grammatical assistance, and I’ll keep to my own regarding the conduct of my children.

My dearest Poppa, I miss our long talks. I hope I find you well, and that Momma, Kitty, and Mary have not bothered you too much. Pray what was the name of the book you wrote to me about. I seemed to have misplaced the letter and cannot remember the title. Anyway, I hope to find you all well. I miss you.

Sun, 18 Sep 2011 09:36:57 -0700

Ah, Lizzie. I confess, I miss our long talks almost as much as I miss you. Perhaps I will come to Pemberley for a visit as soon as your mother has overcome what currently ails her.

Or perhaps I’ll visit sooner, as one cannot ascertain when she will be feeling truly well, eh?

As to the book, I cannot remember at the present time. Growing older certainly has its disadvantages; perhaps I was referring to Breaking Dawn as I see that the theatrical version is soon to be released, hmm?

askelizabethbennet: My family What a lovely portrait! I do not...

Thu, 01 Sep 2011 17:13:59 -0700

askelizabethbennet:

My family

What a lovely portrait! I do not recall sitting for this one, Lizzie. I detest sitting for portraits.

In fact, the very thought makes my arse itch.

What shall I do if I am in love with a much older man?

Tue, 30 Aug 2011 20:03:24 -0700

Firstly, pretend for a moment that he is not an older man. Ask yourself if you are attracted to him mostly due to his seniority over you. This type of dominance could hurt you over time if you do not protect yourself.

Then evaluate the potential relationship like you would with any other person. Is he in love with you? Are either of you married? Would being together cause more hurt or happiness to both of you and those around you? You should have a nice balance of sense and sensibility. Love who you will as hard as you possibly can, but make sure that it will be worth it in the long run.

And if you ultimately feel that being together would be a positive experience for both of you, I say TAP IT.

Tap it, indeed. I say, Miss Austen. Come have a seat next to me; I feel that we have much to discuss.

askjanebingley: Are not my daughters handsome creatures? Excellent gene pool to blame, of course.

Tue, 30 Aug 2011 20:01:43 -0700

askjanebingley:

Are not my daughters handsome creatures? Excellent gene pool to blame, of course.

Mr. Bennett! I was wondering when you would be joining us here on Tumblr, for I do cherish your opinion on all sorts of matters.

Mon, 29 Aug 2011 21:43:44 -0700

Ah, Charles. You cherish my opinion? Young man, it has been my experience during our acquaintance that you are far too busy staring after my daughter to much pay attention to my many decided opinions. Have you started listening to what I have to say? Dear me, I shall have to speak to Jane about this. Perhaps her appearance is starting to wane since becoming an old married woman.

Maybe I’ll mention it to Mrs. Bennett. I’m sure one word from me about Jane’s wilting looks and my dear wife will be at Netherfield in a trice, offering consolation and advice on how best to improve upon dear Jane’s countenance. My, my. Such goings-on at Netherfield these days!

Your Father-in-law, T. Bennett

My father is well but is stressed at times, I find that my mother has similar qualities to your own wife. Not only that but his business as of late has not been well. I try my best not to trouble him but sometimes it seems inevitable.

Mon, 29 Aug 2011 21:41:28 -0700

My dear, I’m sure you are no trouble to your father. A father and his daughter share a special bond, and as the years pass, he finds that the bond strengthens and grows.

Continue to be the loving daughter that he counts on, no matter the (motherly) obstacle, and neither of you will suffer from any sort of familial torment.

Bring the man smiles, love, and refill his glass on the occasion so that it always runneth over.

Yours, T. Bennett

Good day my dear Mr. Bennet! I hope that you and your lovely family are all well? You must be very happy, as I know I am, to daily share in the company and diverting conversation of the fairer sex! Lady Catherine is, I am told, preparing to travel to Pemberley, and so my dear Charlotte and I shall simply have to bear the deprivation! If only you knew the superb delight of the mind which Rosings lends, I am sure that you would wish to be acquainted with it!

Mon, 29 Aug 2011 21:38:59 -0700

Collins, I know not what you are about. Shall I visit Pemberley so I can meet with the inestimable Lady Catherine, or shall I visit Rosings and visit the inestimable estate of Lady Catherine?

It would appear that I cannot be in two places at once, much as I might wish to be; I’m afraid the staggering decision to choose one or the other at present time makes me overtired, and I shall have to stay at home instead with a good book and a good glass of French brandy.

Your cousin, TB

Poor Fanny and her nerves, my constant companions these...

Mon, 29 Aug 2011 21:35:41 -0700

Poor Fanny and her nerves, my constant companions these twenty-some odd years.

mrsdarcy: fandom-frenzy: 25. Favorite family connection Lizzy...

Mon, 29 Aug 2011 21:34:35 -0700

mrsdarcy:

fandom-frenzy:

25. Favorite family connection

Lizzy and her father. I love the relationship that they have, and the closeness they have.

Awesome Dads ftw

Ah, my dear. I do miss your companionship.

Book recommendation post

Sun, 28 Aug 2011 23:02:00 -0700

Hello, fellow tumblrs. I hope this post finds you well.

I find that I am in need of some advice. Pray, what books should I add to my to-be-read list? I am currently finishing the latest novel in the GRRM series of the Game of Thrones- I find myself sympathizing with the plight of Jamie Lannister more and more- but I was wondering-

What are you reading?

What do you suggest I look into next?

I’d like to pick up some classics, and I thought I’d ask you all what you’d recommend.

Darcy, I especially look forward to your recommendation. I must say, I was rather surprised that I enjoyed your last suggestion of A Confederacy of Dunces. I rather feared it would be one of those self-help books so favored by my cousin Collins.

And Wickham, I beg you not to recommend Twilight to me ever again. That was a poor (if not, admittedly, hilarious) recommendation.

Mr. Bennet I'd like to say that you're a great father to Elizabeth and you remind me of the relationship between me and my own father. How are you today?

Sun, 28 Aug 2011 08:36:17 -0700

Well, to tell you the truth, I’m starved for both food and stimulating conversation. I believe I may drop in on Lizzie and Darcy later on in the week, both for Darcy’s library and their French cook. She makes these milles-feuilles that are simply delightful.

Thank you for the kind inquiry into my health. And you? How is your father these days? I hope you aren’t giving him the same trouble that my Lizzie gives me, what with her teasing and her tree climbing and her marrying far beneath her.

askelizabethbennet: I love my father. That is all. And everyone says I am witty? Have you met my...

Sun, 28 Aug 2011 08:31:05 -0700

askelizabethbennet:

I love my father.

That is all.

And everyone says I am witty? Have you met my father?

Ah, Lizzie. I may be an Englishman, but I can admit that I love you, too. What brought on this surge of affection? Have you visited with Lady Catherine again?

askmrwcollins: I am sure that it would be. You will find that...

Sun, 28 Aug 2011 08:16:16 -0700

askmrwcollins:

I am sure that it would be. You will find that Lady Catherine is second in nothing!

Nothing, dear cousin? I wonder, does her ladyship even have a facebook page? How excessively diverting this all is. I’m sure Lady Catherine wouldn’t care to be associated with someone as insipid and whey-faced as Jesse Eisenberg (or Mark Zuckerberg, for that matter).

I’m amazed that people from teh 18th century can so easily work a tumblr.

Sat, 27 Aug 2011 17:55:41 -0700

It was not an easy task at first, I assure you. It was quite frustrating.

Whatever are you about? We hail from the 1800s, which is the nineteenth century. Well, I suppose I should feel gladdened that there is no mention of the Victorian era.